You've got a pretty damn fast car thar, lil' missy

I just got my permit this morning. It was a fairly normal experience but still very confusing for me.
We walk in at like 10ish, the place is surprisingly not as packed I expected.


Not like that.

After like an hour, I finally got to the counter and get submitted for my test. Walk into the room, there's like five touchscreen computers in a row. I sit on the farthest left one and take my test. Three minutes (and plowing through 10 questions) later...
Door: CREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK.
Girl 1: AND HE WAS ALL LIKE "OMFG BLAHBLAHIMADOUCHEBAG"
Girl 2: OH NO, HE DI'N'T!
Girl 3: GYAHAHAAHA I'M TAKING THIS ON CRACK!!!
Boy: I want out...
Proctor: Shut up, you all, or I'll kick you out for cheating!
Girl 2: GUURL, I WILL FUCKIN' CYUUUUT. YOU. UP.
Proctor: No, shut up. You need to take this test otherwise you can't get your permit.
Girl 1: THAT'S LIKE TOTALLY UNFAIR!!! I AM SO GOING TO PUT THIS ON FACEBOOK AND YOU WOULD BE SO OUT.
GIRL 3: *Massive twitch* I NEED ANOTHER HIIIIT!!! *Tries to snort up the boy as a substitute for crack*
Boy: I hate you all.

This continued for like another 2 minutes, during which time I sat there quietly not bothering to read the question because I'd screw it up from that level of noise going on. Eventually they all shut up.
Another five minutes later, I finally got my required 18 questions right. I nearly bounce up and down screaming then finish up the test. 20 right out of 25. I feel good about myself!

The song of the day is "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dl6yilkU1LI

Should this even be on the internet?

YESTERDAY. AAAAAAAAAAAGH. OMGOMGOMG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. *falls over screaming*
I don't think I've been this happy in like... ever.
So there's this GLBT group-meeting thingy going on about an hour's train ride away from my house that I got some interest in from A.H-O. a couple weeks back. I decided to go this week just to try it out because I had nothing really to do. So, it happens every Wednesday so yesterday I took the train in and spent a little while at the library. Nothing big happened there, synced my local library card to the library there so now I can get books from both areas, read a book about Martin Luther in German for the hell of it and amidst deciphering it there was this group of people right behind me speaking fluent German. That was incredibly awkward.
So, 6pm comes around and I decide to head over to the meeting. It's held in a church, like a big gregarious church, so I'm a little intimidated. It didn't take long at all to realize that the meeting is held there due to a large amount of obviously gay people sitting around smoking and flirting with each other. I head inside because I knew it's going to take A.H-O. a flipping eternity to get there. In the meeting I find that the girl who saved K.V. and my asses to get into BAGLY prom was officiating the thing. I was so stoked. We go in, do check-in, I don't remember anyone's names from there except this really cool nerdy-looking girl called Lauren and a wanna-be surfer named Tyler. We then do this game where we write a fact about themselves and put in a hat then try to figure out whose fact is whose. I got bored half-way through and left to hang out with A.H-O. who just happened to show up.
This the scariest part of the entire trip: He was with my ex-stalker C.F. Nothing going on, just standing there talking. My insides turn outside, I want to scream, I feel dizzy. C.F. doesn't remember me like at all. Relief? FUCK YES.
After lolling around a little bit, A.H-O. and a couple of his friends decide to go to Burger King, and I tag along simply because I wanted to. I didn't get anything, but I dunked a Lindt peanut-butter thing in A.H-O's hood and pulled it over his head. He instantly freaks because he thought I put actual raw peanut butter in his hood and it would've ruined his hair (which really wouldn't matter because the drill camp he went to this weekend practically shaved him to a little fohawk) but T.K-H. was like "Umm... no." I then proceed to flirt with A. a little, like taking out some pocky and suggesting we play the pocky game (Google it if you don't know) before T.K-H. steals the bag and eats it herself, moving onto a variation of the pocky game called the Fiberone Bar game, then moving onto the condom game. After a while, they get their food and we sit down to eat. I steal a ton of T.'s fries, talk with A. about losing weight... Miley Cyrus came onto the radio so we booked it back to the meeting.
More time talking, and then I meet A.F. as he begins to hit on A.H-O. I hit on him a little, he hits on me, we hit on A.H-O., he hits on us, the statue hits on us, I hit on A.F... you get the picture. It all boils down to A.F. telling me that I'm hot and we start making out outside behind a column. More of us talking and hanging out, some random guy starts talking to me for no reason, I talk to him. Aaand random guy turns clingy, which I discovered when I tried to talk to any other guy and Random Guy freaks out like WHY AREN'T YOU TALKING TO ME?!?! It was just...awkward... Especially because I thought he was a girl at first (sparkly eyeliner, purse, hairband, sweatshirt thing with fur lining) and was like "I'm gay..." and he's like "I am too! 8D"
...Great...
So eventually A.F. gets drawn into the meeting inside the church because the mediator comes running out screaming "HEY! WE'RE PLAYING SPIN THE BOTTLE WITH A WOODEN DILDO!" I head in for a little then got bored very quickly because it was some kind of safe version of spin-the-dildo where they just rattle off some memory about the other person then the two people swap spots. I head outside and start talking to A.H-O. and T.K-H.
At 8:30, I had to leave so I went inside to say by to A.F. which ensued us making out a little. I walk outside to say bye to the others when A.H-O. is like, "Okay, you just made out with A.F. for a looong time so I'm now really curious what you're like." Then he took my hand, led me to a corner of an alcove, shoved me against a wall and we proceeded to make out for 10 minutes. I swear, my heart was spasming the entire time I was so excited. Eventually I had to go, so we finally kissed goodbye, I kissed T.K-H on the cheek and took the train over to some random town where my mom was and we went home.
Total earthly joy? Yes. Is it enough to make me hopeful for the future? YES. I feel much more confident now after getting compliments from multiple people, getting the interest of multiple people, and making more friends. I think I'll be going here on a regular basis now. It's not so much the feeling that some people want to hook up with me that makes me happy, really. I just feel appreciated for who I am and my general appearance because I feel so unattractive most of the time. However these people aren't desperate nor are they close friends, they have no need to compliment me. So I feel much better about myself now that I'm getting compliments from nearly absolute strangers.

The song of the day is C'mon Girl by Red Hot Chili Peppers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIPulXpwHYU

Prom!

This Friday was insane. Like, ridiculously insane. It all started when I woke up, when I started to run nonstop. The day was fairly normal until noon, when I began to run to print out all of my stuff for Humanities class. I was already late because I had to wait to get a computer to print out my stuff, so I ran in mid-way through people putting their reports together. I missed about half of the things on the report because It was so thrown together...
The second school got out I had head to the principal's office to set up a proposal to start working on a public speaking project. Immediately after that I had to start running to uptown, mainly because I can't drive yet so it involves walking in dress shoes. I needed to get my corsage and suit (I'm against using tuxes unless it's senior prom) so that was about a 3 mile walk from the school to the florist to the dry cleaners then back home. By the time I got back home I needed to put on makeup to make myself look good for prom. Two layers of makeup and shaving half of my face off later, I decided that I would just look disastrous with makeup on. That involved tons of makeup remover and pain... After getting completely ready, I finally got to go to prom.
Prom itself was incredible, but nothing of extreme amazingness went on. I now have a couple new texting buddies, A.H-O. and S.F.
After prom, K.V., M.R., J.B., A.D., S.P., E.M., and K.M. went over to J.B.'s house to stay the night. J.B.'s family is connected directly to an ice cream shop, like their house is right next to it. As such, at midnight J.B's dad came downstairs and told us to go to the ice cream shoppe. He then gave us a bunch of scoops and told us to go crazy. I was very happy; Peppermint stick, mint chocolate chip, heath bar, and sprinkles. I was very very happy.
At 12:30/1ish M.R. had to head home, likewise with A.D., so the rest of us got into the living room and started to watch Scene It with Harry Potter. I got the massage chair, which was a godsend to me because I've been on my feet in dress shoes for the past 11 hours and that chair does legs and feet. I was very very very very very very happy.

I give up...

Yesterday was filled with happiness and sorrow. I enjoyed a huge deal of it but by the end of the night I just wanted to curl in a little ball.
It was Boston Youth Pride yesterday, so my GSA and K.V. traveled over to Boston for it despite the rain. I don't mean rain as in a little trickle kind of rain, I mean rain as in out of nowhere the rain comes pouring down to the point where you can barely see stuff from 20 feet away. New England doesn't like to do little trickles of rain.
While there, K.V. and I ran into T.B. and his GSA. I asked him out and he said yes, so I was off the walls excited that I'm back in the dating game. However, that didn't work out because later on I ran into A.O. I danced a little with A.O. who left to do other things while telling me that he plans to come back a little later. I was about to start making out with him, too... Of course, that dance never worked out because he ran into T.B. and started dancing with him and by the end of the night when K.V. T.B. and I were leaving A.O. took T.B. out of sight and I didn't see either of them for a few minutes. Just now I'm texting T.B. and found out that he and A.O. are going on a date sometime. So just as quickly as I entered the dating game I got thrown out. So I give up on getting a boyfriend during high school because the universe clearly hasn't wanted me to get a boyfriend over the past year.
In better news, I spent the majority of the day with K.V! My GSA left at like 1 leaving us behind so we decided to spend the day wandering around. We got picked up by her mom, went to the hotel and wandered around a bit. We really had no idea what to do so we wandered around the Prudential Mall giggling like idiots about everything then went to the library for some down time. After that, we somehow managed to walk halfway across Boston again to the Boston Commons and entered a McDonald's just as it started to pour again. There we ran into A.O. as he did a very half-assed version of tarot to a bunch of random people. Like it was obvious to me that he wasn't trying very hard, which is very amusing for me because I was sitting there like "Really? Are you trying?" as he was reading out of a pamphlet-thing about what each card means. People still liked it, though, so I'm not complaining. As we made towards the BAGLY prom, he finally revealed that his age is "vientidos" which just gave me a massive twitch.
I loved yesterday, but it taught me that I shouldn't bother trying to get a boyfriend. College will come in a couple years and that'll throw one at me pretty quickly. Least I got 17 male condoms, 6 packs of lube, 2 female condoms and 1 thing of lube for those things.
The song of the day is "Smashing The Opponent" by Infected Mushroom, because that perfectly explains my mood right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAwIpOnzN8M

Oh, SHNAP!

So today I bought my first bra. It was an intense experience, I walked into CVS and flat-out said, "On Saturday, I'm crossdressing for the first time. HELP MEH." So we spent nearly half an hour scouring through the entire makeup line like a pack of rabid Twilight fangirls trying to figure this shit out. I may need to make another run because I'm not sure if I have eyeshadow that matches the rest of my makeup. After snagging my makeup, I proceeded to run to Marshall's for a bra. All the way there, I was flipping out because I didn't know what to do. I decided to pretend that I was a boyfriend looking for his girlfriend's size. A really big girlfriend, like size 40 girlfriend.
So do you know how difficult it was to find a size 40 there? YEAH. I SPENT FREAKING TWENTY MINUTES IN THE BRA RACK (Teehee... bras on racks...) LOOKING. All I found for the first 19 minutes were size 44F's. I may be a size 40, but I was looking for a C cup, not boobs that need leashes instead of a bra. I don't need boobs that will fly out of my chest and eat someone if the bra breaks. Here's to hoping it won't break on Saturday.
In better news, this Saturday is Boston Youth Pride! I am so bloody excited it's unbelievable!
This song of the day, because I don't feel like posting that much, is Illusion by VNV Nation.