Stop Telephonin' Me!

My project is underway!

Right now, I'm restarting my project from the beginning of the school year, which involves speaking to my school about depression, suicide, and self-injury. Because it was shut down by my yoga teacher in November, I let it fall down into the underground works for a few months. For past few months I took my time collecting information and statistics so when I go up again there's going to be no way anyone can refuse my proposal without looking unprofessional. This past couple weeks I decided to start going out getting support from multiple professionals in nursing, public speaking and psychology. As of right now, I have the support of a well-respected psychologist in my town and a couple social workers at my school. I'm aiming for a couple nurses and a local organization for depression. It's a lengthy process but with hope I will be able to go up to the board of health in my school district and whip out a proposal so good that they cannot refuse, and even if they did I can absolutely trash them publicly for refusing it.

Last week was my best friend K.V.'s Grease show! A bunch of the actors lacked professionalism, but the show in itself was pretty good! I went with my other best friend E.J. and her friend from South Korea and we spent most of the show critiquing all of the actors. While this was a total asshole thing to do, it was so fun. I greatly enjoyed watching my friends K.V., A.D. and J.B. onstage! I had no idea that A.D. or J.B. can act so them coming up was pretty awesome. During intermission I ran backstage and spent time with K.V. despite the fact she had to get ready for the next act. It was so worth going back there though because we were constantly hugging each other and giggling like idiots. I think it scared the director as well.

Here's a demonstration of how oblivious I am in class for you all. In all of my academic classes this semester, because I already know everything and at a level above everyone when it comes to thinking deep (my academics, with the exception of Chinese, rely heavily on philosophy), I tend to space out most of the class because I can. Because of that, I somehow managed to not look at most of my classmates because I'm in a trance-like state nearly all classtime unless I have to present something. When I present, I tend to ramble because I tend to forget what I'm saying mid-sentence, so I guess being in a trance-like state nearly all the time is a bad thing. But I digress: This past week I decided to start actually paying attention because my classes are picking up in pace so the teachers can get what they want done before the seniors leave. So now I'm looking around at the class during spare time and I realized something: most of the guys in my classes are really hot! I'm surprised I didn't notice this before, but the more I look around the more hotness I see! I'm not sure whether it's from G.R. constantly trying to turn me on or if it's just because I'm on some crazy exaggerated hormone cycle, but I'm flabbergasted by the hotness! In Chinese I decided to sit on the opposite end of the room from where I used to sit nearby J.A. so I have people to talk to and it gives me such a wide view of the good-looking guys. I feel like a little whore, but who cares. Chances are that I won't have a boyfriend for another couple years, anyways. Nothing wrong with looking.

So right now I'm in my dad's house preparing to go an hour north to some country store. Saturday tends to be our shopping trip day, so I get to whip out my awesome new debit card and go shopping for a little while. Will I actually buy anything? Doubt it. As long as I get to zone out most of this weekend I'm all set.

On Thursday I was home alone for a few hours because that's my mom's day to go to her boyfriend's house until midnight. Out of boredom, I remembered that Lady Gaga has released a new music video called Telephone and that people say it's really weird. So I decided to watch it to kill some time, given that the entire video is around 10 minutes. My final verdict: it's something that people into girls would want to see if they're in a really weird lesbian porn kinda mood. Everyone else would like it just from the weirdness factor. I'm starting to think that Lady Gaga has a thing for people forcibly undressing her and leaving her half-naked. Especially the part when she's virtually entirely naked and climbing the prison bars. There was no decency there, and I'm not sure whether to respect the fact she has no problem showing her body for all to see or to be scared that she has no problem showing her body for all to see, including little children.

Showtime! Continued

I didn't bother writing too much in depth last night as I was absolutely wiped and wanted to just curl in bed and fall into a coma. Yesterday was craaaaaaaaaaaazy. Like there's crazy where you have a lot on your plate. Then there's crazy where you have a lot on your plate, a million things are popping up at once, everyone around you also has that going on and you're all trying to help each other out into a gigantic mess of logistics and chaos. I don't know where to start with the show, so let's start a few hours beforehand.

I woke up Saturday morning in a really surreal state. This was the day of the show; no re-do's, no more rehearsals, no more shows to do. This is it! However, before anything else I have to do something for my Chinese class: go to a show on Chinese folk art at the same place as my show. I go there with my mom and her boyfriend, and it all goes pretty well. I see some people from my class, avoid a few other people, etc. It starts off with a really intense drum routine with the guys screaming and using just about every single part of the drum I can imagine. Then a bunch of happy dance routines including the lion and dragon. The lion dance was so improvised because you see in the background the person in the front of the lion suit jumping onto the knees of the person in back and proceeding to "make out" with the other lion. As in taking the heads, opening the mouths, and smashing the heads together. It was odd. The dragon dance was awesome though. It started with all lights on stage off, then the dragon and the pearl come out lit up by LEDs. It was really awesome just because of that effect, and they did the same for the yoyo routine. I was pretty impressed.

Now come an hour before the show. By this time we are getting all of our acts down as far as we possibly can, people are calling and texting us and whatever to say "Good luck!", getting into all of our first outfits, and meetings are going on throughout the whole cast. I probably got at least 10 texts saying "Good luck!" or something of that ilk. Given that most of my friends for some reason don't have cells and/or the capacity to text, I imagine the other contestants got many more. Come the whole cast meeting, our director was apologizing for being an asshole to us and we were all like "You were a total asshole. Bitch." It was amusing. Now come ten minutes before the show, I'm dancing like crazy to keep from having a massive breakdown because you can hear the audience screaming from between multiple rooms. The contestants finally go onto the risers and have a group hug, I assure the hostess that she's going to work it. I'm on the verge of crawling in a little hole screaming when the curtains finally open revealing our silhouettes. The music starts playing and when the spotlight comes on me I hear an entire shower of screams from throughout the entire audience. I grin and strike a pose, the entire right side of my face twitching like crazy from nervousness.

Come sportswear! I do a massive joke on bodybuilders and heroic muscle men by acting like a total flamer. I think they mainly were laughing at the end when my sponsor A.H. drags me offstage and falls in the attempt to pick me up. I should've warned her I'm 20 pounds heavier since the last time she picked me up. Everyone gets a huge amount of laughs at each act, we're all very confident. Most of my acts involve huge amounts of audience participation, I end up talking to the people on stage during my dream date and try to get people during my talent.

Skipping a few scenes, we finally get to the last act: Q&A. The contestants have absolutely no idea what they're going to ask, so I'm terrified because I don't know what to expect. Before we go onstage, though, we have to get into tuxes. The entire deal with tuxes was a bitch enough because the person lending them to us decided to throw us through a million hoops. We finally finish the dream date when the host and hostess completely forget to stall the audience for us to get into tuxes. I'm all set because I wore a tux before and know how to put them all and because there's five scenes after mine in the dream date act. However, the other guys forgot to budget their time and come spilling into the dressing rooms after C.S1's scene. I'm nearly done and have to help everyone else. The director is running in to help, people are flying around with bags, sponsors are trying to help. It just looked like a total blur to me now because of how much screaming "HOW DO I PUT THIS ON?!" and people were climbing on top of each other. I barely manage to fully finish before they tell us to go onstage. Four more guys are still lagging so I try to help as much as I can before the director shoves me out.

I walk onstage with my sponsor when they ask me a question, "You walk out of your home and encounter a massive fire-breathing dragon. What do you do?" I space out for a minute contemplating my answer with a few people in my fan club screaming things at me. Most of my thoughts were either, "Turn up my gayness and out-flame him." or "Splash a bucket of water on it." but I finally say "Turn into a Na'vi and do that weird bonding thing they do." before internally face-palming. Creative? Relatively. Nerdy? Oh, hell yes. In retrospect, I should've said, "RuPaul, queen of drag, I choose you!" or something like that.

In the end, I didn't win. I imagined as such because everyone else is way more mainstream and know how to make most people laugh. I have a relatively obscure humor so some people didn't get my jokes. However, we're all happy that it's over and head off to E.C.'s house for a rager. As far as they said anyways.

However, by the time I get there it's nearly midnight and some people were about to leave because of their parents. I hang out in the hot tub for a while which was an absolutely jam-packed area. I'm squished up against J.C. for most of the time and nearly in a fetal position because the hot tub is designed for 7 people. We have about 15 people in there at any one time. After some people leave, E.C. decides to sit on me for a seat. I have no idea why so I'm really confused, but I'm not really complaining because this kid is pretty damn hot and I haven't had any guy sit on me for a long time. I kinda just lean to the side as cooly as I can- against my natural instincts to wrap my arms around his torso and just relax. More room clears up and he snags a seat behind me. I shuffle over to another edge to give him some room because as far as I know he's saying that he's straight. Some other guy who I completely go crazy for, J.S. pops up and decides to jump in the hot tub. So I'm now in a hot tub with three of the hottest guys in my grade and trying to decide what to do. Eventually, come 1 in the morning. Nearly everyone's left and it's really just degenerated into E.C., C.Q., C.S1, J.S., a couple of their friends and I just sitting by a fire talking about games I have no clue what to talk about. I eventually text my mom's boyfriend and go home. I stay up for another hour and go into a comatose state for 9 hours, which is about the most sleep I've had in a month.

Showtime!

Tonight was the night: I was finally a competitor in a massive school production. In this show, there's 7 guys who compete for the title of Mr. (school) in three different areas: Sportswear, Talent, and Dream Date. We each have one female sponsor who helps us out with any piece we need. Obviously, we need them for Dream Date and we have to introduce them during Sportswear. Talent, however, is entirely up to us because we write the scripts and everything.

So, up until about an hour before the show I was entirely calm and repeating to everyone that it's all going to work. Naturally, stage fright kicked in once the curtains opened revealing us. However, I got people laughing and cheering throughout the entire show. I also managed to engage the audience more than once! I have to say I've had one of the two largest fan clubs in the show, the other one being for E.C. It was pretty awesome, at the end of the show a swarm of people came flooding into the backstage to hug me.

Come after the show, E.C. says that there's going to be a party at his house. Everyone's all pumped and we all arrive there at like 11 after breaking down the set. Nearly everyone leaves at midnight or shortly thereafter. I'm still there but being the only person there that doesn't really play video games, by the time J.C. left all they were talking about was Call of Duty. I barely even know that game exists so I was sitting there in a bathing suit and a towel by the fire listening quietly. Eventually, I just felt awkward and left. And here I am!